It is often said that the relationship between a grandparent and grandchild is totally unique to the general parent/child relationship. As a grandparent, you have all of the benefits of life with a child without the constant day-to-day need to be a disciplinarian, making the relationship one of the most treasured there is. If you wish to further this relationship or improve problems, try the following tips.
Do not just talk.
While the saying may claim it is good to talk, with children this is not always the case. If your interaction with your grandchild is based on you asking questions about their life, this may satisfy your need for knowledge but may actually have an adverse effect on the child. They can feel as if they are being interviewed, and shy away. Instead, get essential answers - such as doctors' results and school reports - from the parents, and make your relationship with the child more fun.
Physical stimulus is the key. Even if you can not run around playing with balls, there is still a lot you can do that will engage the child. For example, if they have a skateboard, a simple request to be shown their latest trick will light the child up totally. Just watching and complimenting is the best way to establish a rapport between you and allow for continuation, and perhaps even develop into a hobby.
Make time for just the two of you.
Many grandparents only spend time with their grandchildren with the child's parents present, for example at family meals and functions. To develop a deeper connection, suggest spending time on your own with the child. Choose an activity or outing you know they will enjoy and do it together. Children often act differently when away from their parents and you may get more out of them by spending time with them alone.
Have something / something that is just for you.
Grandparents can often been seen as just as extension of their parents by children, which is an image you do not want to encourage. It is important to establish yourself as a separate entity, without infringing on the parents general rules and regulations. The most effective way to do this is to establish something that only you and your grandchild do together without parental involvement. If there is a particular hobby or activity that your grandchild wants to try but their parents have not the time or inclination to do, make it "your" thing. This guarantees that whenever the child is reminded of the activity, they will think of you and begin to associate you separately from their parents. Popular activity choices include things that working parents often do not have time for, such as making model aircraft, scrap booking or painting. The feeling of involvement and exclusivity strengthens a grandparent / grandchild relationship tremendously.
All of these issues, while different, address a similar kind of theme - spending time with the child doing what they enjoy. If you try, particularly with younger people, to involve them in your hobbies, their interest may be hard to capture and therefore your relationship suffers. Play with them on their own terms and within a few months you could be closer than ever before.
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