There are many text books, self-help books, journal articles and magazine articles on building self-concept, self confidence and self-esteem. Because I coach many athletes, I tend to spend a lot of time helping these clients to strengthen their self-confidence.
However, believing in one self is useful and important for just about everyone. It is important for Barack Obama. It is important for kids. And it is probably important for you.
Over the years, I have studied and developed many strategies and techniques for helping people to believe in themselves. When people feel positively about themselves, they tend to grow and they are better able to have rich and fulfilling lives.
Dr. Albert Bandura, of Stanford University, identified four components or life experiences which contribute to building one's self-confidence.
Mastery Experiences-Having a history of doing well at some event, some skill or some task can help to grow your confidence in yourself. So, it is useful to remind yourself of times when you felt you mastered some task or some skill.
Vicarious Learning-Seeing someone else who you can relate to do well at something or succeed at something can help you to believe that you, too, can succeed. A child seeing his friend hit a baseball can start to believe that he can put his bat on the ball with some power too.
Modeling Someone Who Inspires You-When you see someone who you admire do something well, you can imitate his or her actions. Watching a singer perform a song brilliantly can inspire a young artist to do the same thing. This "modeling" can help to grow your self-confidence.
Social Persuasion-Receiving encouraging words from a parent, a coach or someone you trust can help you to feel like you can do something successfully. This, too, can strengthen your self-confidence.
People who do not get any of these kinds of experiences are likely to have little or no self-confidence.
So, if you want to build self-confidence in yourself, in someone you care about or your child, consider facilitating one or all of these kinds experiences. If you do, confidence can build in a short period of time.
Jay P. Granat, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist and the founder of http://www.stayinthezone.com He has written several books and developed several programs to help people perform to their fullest potential at sports, at work and at school. Dr. Granat, a former university professor, has appeared in The New York Times, Good Morning America, AP, ESPN, Golf Digest, The BBC and The CBC. He can be reached at info@stayinthezone.com. His books include Zone Tennis and Get Into The Zone In Just One Minute. He is also the author of How To Get Into The Zone With Sport Psychology And Self-Hypnosis, How To Lower Your Golf Score With Sport Psychology And Self-Hypnosis, 101 Ways To Break Out Of A Hitting Slump and Bed Time Stories For Young Athletes. Golf Digest named Dr. Granat one of America's Top Ten Mental Gurus. He was recently featured in a documentary film on long distance running. Dr. Granat writes a weekly column for three newspapers. He just released a new program for bowlers.
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