Thoughts To Ponder #61

When Betty Eadie was 31, she died in a hospital after undergoing surgery. What happened next has been called by some, "the most profound near-death experience ever." Betty journeyed to a beautiful world beyond this life. She met Jesus there. Jesus gave her a message to give to others when she returned. These quotes from her books, Embraced By The Light, The Awakening Heart, and The Ripple Effect give a glimpse of her profound experience. Part XVIV

There are far fewer accidents here than we imagine, especially in things that affect us eternally. The hand of God and the path we chose before we came here guide many of our decisions and even many of the seemingly random experiences we have.

There is magic in gratitude. It frees us from worry and competition in life. It opens our hearts and hands to genuine love, ironically allowing our hearts and hands to be filled again... Gratitude helps ward off negativity. Being grateful for the good things in life invites their continued influence.

All experience is for our good, and sometimes it takes what we would consider negative experience to help develop our spirits. We were very willing, even anxious, as spirits to accept all of our ailments, illnesses, and accidents here to help better ourselves spiritually. I understood that in the spirit world our earth time is meaningless. The pain we experience on earth is for just a moment, just a split second of consciousness in the spirit world, and we are very willing to endure it.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life." Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirati10FBonal leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Alexander Graham Bell

Journey To Your Heart's Desire

Have you decided yet what kind of life you want to experience? Do you know? Responsibilities of life can make you feel disconnected from yourself and leave little time to really think about the direction of your life. There are ways to figure out what you really want in your life. You are going to need a little courage and it will take some work and patience.

To start with, you need to be clear about what you want. What does your heart tell you? It seems really simple to answer this question, yet a large portion of the population would not be able to say what they really want. It is really hard to be specific. Do you think this describes you right now? Believe it or not, you really do already know how you want your journey to unfold. It seems logical to know what you want, since it is you and who has known you longer than you? Let's just say that deep inside where it's a little scary to go, you may not be fully aware of your desires. Hang on, you will shortly.

The journey to your heart's desire can begin with these simple steps:

What dreams did you have when you were younger? Think about those and expand on the themes5B4. Fantasizing about how your life could be is a good way to wake up your inner voice. Make the dreams even bigger than you think is possible. Feel the satisfaction and joy the reality of your biggest dreams can bring. Can you feel you're on the right path now?

Silence is golden, so it is said. Did you know you could gain great energy and balance from spending quiet time with your own thoughts? Here is another way to listen to your inner voice. This voice is what guides you through your journey in this life. The voice isn't one you can hear with your physical ears. This is the voice that makes you know beyond doubt when something is real. It causes your heart to stir and brings harmony to your body, mind and spirit.

Your thoughts can be productive in a couple of different ways. When your mind seems unfocused, just go with the process. This will allow your imagination to be creative and just play. Don't force your thoughts into any particular direction. Just go with the flow. A lot of times when you do this in a relaxed manner, insights will come to you that you never expected. Another way to have a productive brain session is to start writing down everything that comes to your mind. Make a list of your skills, abilities, experiences, hobbies and everything you ever wanted to do but never had a chance to do or just never got around to it.

These are just a few of the processes you can use to f555ind out what it is you really want in life. Ask yourself this. In a perfect world without limits where you had every opportunity, what is your life about? When you can answer this question, you will know your heart's desire.

Robin Skeen

www.robinskeen.com

Robin lives in the lovely state of Ohio, USA. She is a freelance writer and her website contains her reflections on inspired personal growth - transforming body, mind and spirit so you can live your best life NOW! To find out more, visit today. Free reports and eBooks are added on a regular basis.

Self Empowerment

How To Help People Think Better - The Nitty Gritty of Listening

You know how to listen. You do it every day. In fact, you spend a good portion of the time you're interacting with others in listening. You're good at it.

And, we find that leaders who are remarkable listeners are always looking to expand their listening skills. So let's really make a study of listening today; let's take a look at the nitty gritty.

Helping people to think more deeply is the highest purpose, the best reason, for a leader to listen more deeply. When people think more deeply, when they make their own connections, they get a jolt of energy, and they're inspired to action. David Rock in his book Quiet Leadership (Appeared, 2006) describes the neuroscience of the process of coming to one's own insight. Then he says,

When people make deep, new connections in their own mind, there is a tangible release of energy, a discernable "aha" moment that fills us with a desire to take action. On a physical level, this aha moment releases chemicals in the body to prime it for movement. The energy created by insight is an important energy source to be harnessed. In the workplace there are many drains on our energy, including restrictions, policies, politics, long hours, and hundreds of emails every day. We should be harnessing every possible energy source that might inspire better performance. Letting people come up with their own ideas is a deep well of motivation to tap. (pp.39-40)

We have found that people get excited, become more conscious, and solve their own problems when their leaders and colleagues employ the skill of listening for. When you are listening for my potential, my strengths, or my skills mastery, I can sense that and I respond to it. When you're listening for what's important to me, for my goals, for what I value, for what I believe is possible or not possible, you help me become more conscious of these myself. When you're listening for how I feel about the subject I'm discussing - whether my energy is high or low, whether I'm excited or worried - I know I am truly heard. When you're listening for the real issue, maybe the question behind my question, then you help me to see so much more. When you're listening for what I'm not saying but is clearly present, then you give me permission to bring it out.

So how do you do it, this listening deeply and listening for? Here are some of the nitty gritty techniques:

Say less than you think you need to. Give lots of time for the person to think or to frame what they're saying. Resist the urge to jump in.

Summarize, paraphrase, and mirror back what you're hearing to be sure you understand clearly and to give the person a chance to hear what he or she is thinking.

As you reflect what you're hearing, use their language. It will have more of an impact. As you reflect, use language that indicates "I heard" rather than "You said."

Notice the difference between the person's words, tone of voice, and body language.

Practice setting aside your own judgments of what you're hearing.

And finally, just practice hearing some of what we've already mentioned: potential, goals, values, strengths, mastery, possibility, point of view, feelings, what's underneath.

Now let's look at an example. Your employee, Bob, comes to you and says, "Sandy is alienating everyone around her." For many, the automatic response is to look for a solution. The leader who is listening for starts by asking for more information and listening for what's important to the speaker.

As you listen, you reflect what you're hearing, giving Bob the chance to become more aware of the elements of the situation and what's really going on. You use language that tells Bob what you've heard. You listen for possibility, for Bob's strengths and for Sandy's. You listen for how Bob is thinking about the situation and what he may not be saying about it. And you assume Bob's competence in being able to solve his problem.

As you reflect what Bob is saying, he begins to see possibility, too. Now may be a good time to ask Bob what he'd like to see and how he'd like to move forward. You continue to see him as competent and creative. In this collaborative conversation, Bob feels heard, and he taps into his own resourcefulness. Your deep listening allows Bob to harness his own energy and to solve his own problem, to become a leader in this situation.

We have all experienced the power of being truly heard. It is one of the highest gifts we receive in this life. In the business world, it encourages deeper thinking, energized action, and greater connection to the work at hand. And it invokes the leader in everyone.

Jennifer Sellers is the Chief Energy Officer of Inspired Mastery, a leadership development company that helps people see inside their own blind spots to become powerful communicators, powerful leaders, and powerful in their lives. She is a Professional Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation. Her background includes teen and adult education, project management under contract to NASA, a year as a ski bum in Telluride, Colorado , and 5 years as a coach, facilitator, and speaker. She has practiced Zen meditation for almost 20 years and is passionate about tapping the highest potential in each of us. http://www.inspiredmastery.com

Inner Light

Become Who You Were Meant To Be Now

We are what we think, believe, and do. If you can change how you think and what you believe, with God's help, you can change your life - what you do and who you are.

Are you on the path that will lead you to your highest calling - to actualize your greatest potentials and give your best to those you love?

What attitudes, beliefs, negative self-statements, inner or external distractions, and unhealthy habits are holding you back?

Decisions you make today, goals and commitments you establish, can and will change your life. Starting today you can become the person you were created to be.

Negative programming, destructive thought patterns, and damaged emotions can be changed, rewritten, and healed. This process can start now - in this moment - and continue throughout your life.

No matter how old you are, you aren't too old to change. Although we are "creatures of habit" who often get stuck in ruts - mental and behavioral patterns that get stronger every time we repeat them, with sufficient motivation and persistence (and with God's help) we can break free from old habits.

I want to challenge you today to take an honest look at yourself and identify 3 aspects of yourself you wish to improve. Write down how you want to change - be specific (i.e. - cut down to pack a day over the next two weeks and then stop smoking completely by 4 weeks from today). If your goal is to be more productive or to spend more time with your family or to develop a more disciplined prayer life - decide how you will know when you have reached your goal. What will be a sign that you have arrived? And what benefits do you hope to obtain? Make sure your goals are consistent with long term objectives, realistic, and measurable.

Today's decisions will be realized in tomorrow's successes, and a thought or a wish traveling across the synapses of your brain right now could be the impetus that changes your world - perhaps even the whole world.

All things are possible if we believe!

Do you believe? If not, may God help you to believe. Don't fail to see the infinite possibilities God has placed within your grasp. Jesus said: "If you have the faith of a grain of mustard seed you can move mountains." What doubts are holding you back? Do you doubt yourself, your calling, your God? Are you willing to doubt your doubts and begin to believe?

Which of you are willing to make a commitment to change? Listen to the Wind of change within your soul. Ask and you shall receive!

William Kuntz, M.S., LCSW

Licensed Psychologist / Life Coach

Tenets Of Buddhanature Doctrine

Concentration Is The Power

Have you ever taken note how you breathe when you feel in love with the whole world or with some one special and that noble emotions which thrills you. When you are fille111Cd with good thoughts, you breathe a plentiful supply of oxygen into your lungs and love fills your soul. Love develop a person, this feeling changes them physically, mentally and socially. They breathe deeply when they are happy and they will gain life and strength; they will steady their mind and will develop a power in concentration and become magnetic and powerful. If you want to get more out of life you must think more of love. LOVE is the GIVER. Unless you have real deep affection for something or some one, you have no sentiment, no sweetness, no magnetism. So arouse is your love and deep affections by your will you enter into a FULLER life. A FULLER life is sweetness in itself. The Energy , the POWER.

The hand of love always magnifies, but it must be steady and controlled. Love can be concentrated in your hand shake, and this is one of the best ways to influence another. The handshake that is steady and firm will be the controlled mind.

The next time you feel yourself becoming irritable, use your will and be patient. This is a very good exercise in self-control. It will help you to keep patient if you will breathe slowly and deeply. If you find you are commencing to speak fast, just control yourself and speak slowly and clearly. Keep from either rising or lowering your voice and concentrate on the fact that you are determined to keep your poise, and you will improve your power in concentration.

When you meet people of some importance, assume a reposeful attitude before them. Try Do this at all times. Watch both them and yourself. Static exercises does develops the motor faculties and increase the power in concentration. If you feel yourself getting irritable, nervous or weak, stand squarely on your feet with your chest up and inhale deeply and you will see that your irritability will disappear and a silent calm will pass over you.

If you are in the habit of associating with nervous, irritable people, quit them until you grow strong in the power in concentration, because irritable, angry, fretful, dogmatic and disagreeable people will weaken what powers of resistance you may have.

Any exercises that give you better control of your ears, fingers, eyes, feet, will help you to steady your mind; when your eye is steady, your mind is steady. One of the best ways to study a person is to watch his physical movements, for when we, study they actions, we are studying their mind.

As actions are the expressions of the mind. As the mind is, so is the action. If it is uneasy, restless, erratic, unsteady, its actions are the same. When it is composed, the mind is composed. Concentration means control of the mind and body. You cannot secure control over one without the other.

Many people who seem to lack ambition have WEAK or SLUGGISH minds. They are steady, patient and seemingly have good control, but this does not say they are able to concentrate. These people are indolent, inactive, slow and listless, because they lack energy; they do not lose control because they have little FORCE to control. They have no temper and it therefore cannot disturb them. Their actions are steady because they possess little energy. The natural person is internally strong, energetic and forceful, but his energy, force and strength, thoughts and physical movements are well under his control.

If a person does not have energy, both mental and physical, he must therefore, develop it. If he has energy which he cannot direct and hold to a point he must learn to do so. A man may be very capable, but, unless he WILLS to control his abilities, they will not do him any good.

I have heard so much talk about the benefit of physical culture, but the real benefit of this is really lost sight of. There is nothing that holds the faculties at work in a sustained and continuous manner as static exercises do. For, as I stated before, when you learn to control the body, you are gaining control over the mind. I would suggest to you to read my blog "Motivate Yourself To Achieve Anything".

How to Gain What You Want Through Concentration

The ignorant person may say, "How can you get anything by merely wanting it? I say that through concentration you can get anything you want. Every desire can be gratified. But whether it is, will depend upon you concentrating to h5B4ave that desire fulfilled. Read my previous article. By merely wishing for something will not bring it. Wishing you had something shows a weakness and not a belief that you will really get it. So never merely wish, as we are not living in a "fairy age." You use up just as much brain force in "vain imaginings" as you do when you think of something worth while.

Be careful of your desires, make a mental picture of what you want and set your will to this until it materializes. Never allow yourself to drift without helm or rudder. Know what you want to do, and strive with all your might to do it, and you will succeed.

Feel that you can accomplish anything you undertake. Many undertake to do things, but feel when they start they are going to fail and usually they do. I will give an illustration. A man goes to a store for an article. The clerk says, "I am sorry, we do not have it." But the man that is determined to get that thing inquires if he knows where he can get it. Again receiving an unsatisfactory answer the determined buyer consults the manager and finally he finds where the article can be bought. He was persistant to have what he wanted. He made certain that that he would get what he came for. "NO" was not in his vocabulary.

I love helping people who need advice on Home Environment wh4A8ich include help with advice and tips for families with debt and personal problems in sickness, weight loss, back pain, tips on how to save money at home and away from home, internet products. After all love is about giving. If you like this post sign up for my newsletter by clicking on the right and receive some cool stuff and more post that you ask for. You can also bookmark this post by clicking on the icons at the bottom of the post. By the way if you are interested in weight loss I have tried and succeeded in losing 25 pounds. Just let me know.

http://www.cookingrecipeforyou.com

Northern Buddhism

Continuing To Learn

I'm sure that you have heard the statement "If you are not learning then you are not growing". This is more than true, it is a fundamental that all successful people have that the average person does not. Successful people know the value of continued education and seek to find other like minded people, conferences, courses and various other meansFAE to support or enhance their knowledge.

Have you ever heard people say that the successful ones who are selling CD's are making money. Most people who are not willing to do what it takes will find fault with information put on an audio or CD format. Cost is one fault most complain about. They think that it is only to make money and not to share information. The wealth of knowledge and experience at your fingertips is crucial to your growth and development. The fact that you can listen to it while in your car is invaluable since most of us spend a tremendous amount of our time drive from on destination to another. You can also re-listen to an audio program and take notes as if you were at the seminar or course in person. Imagine if you had spent the actual money to attend that event!

Although a large amount of people don't seem to have much time to breath, books can be another valuable success builder. They provide a reference point that you can back to at any given time. Highlighting in a book gives you quick reference when you are looking for something specific that caught your attention during the first reading. Most successful people have a well stocked and used library for future reference. The act of spending just fifteen minutes per day reading either early in the morning or later in the evening you can acquire a wealth of knowledge in the long run and added to your points of reference while building your success in whatever you choose.

Courses and seminars are a large benefit for the person who is building financial freedom and success. Courses are available online in the form of e-courses as well as in physical locations. Seminars are also available in teleseminar and webinar form for those who choose to learn from their homes, on their computers or telephones. The biggest advantage to courses and seminars away from home is that you have the benefit of actually being in the presence to the presenter or teacher. It is true that birds of a feather flock together. Like minded people benefit from being together especially from the energy that is present. By making a commitment to attend an event you are making a commitment to yourself to improve and grow for the future. These people do what it takes to get the job done efficiently and effectively.

All types of continued education are tools to use to increase your success and the amount of time in which it takes for you to succeed. The question is "Are you willing and ready to take yourself to the next level"? There are a variety of opportunities to acquire these tools. Finding a mentor, someone who has been where you want to go and has tools available to teach you is important to developing your future success.

For further information on some tools available to assist you in your success journey visit http://www.setyourmillionairemind.com

Many people are in sales of some kind. You can find very valuable information and tools to enhance your skills and effectiveness can be found at http://www.foryoursuccessfulmindset.com

Aesop

Can You Bounce Back From Adversity Again And Again

Everyone at least once in their life experiences some form of a setback, adversity, failure or loss in at least one area of their life. Adversity can strike with or without notice. It can hit a relationship, a loved one, a career, your business, your health or your financial status.

No matter where or when it hits, the anxiety, stress, frustration, disappointment, fear, sadness or panic leave the same feelings or emotions in its wake. A senses of hopelessness and/or despair.

Life is circular not linear. First there is birth, then growth, then maturity then death, followed again by birth or re-birth and so on. This is the law of the universe, whether it is life itself or a change in career or a relationship. I do not mean to imply that all relationships must die before their time, but they do eventually end. There is a big difference. Endings are different than death. Death is certainly an ending, but there are literally thousands of types of endings.

Periods of life end, for example youth is followed by adulthood. All careers end if not by premature death, then retirement, or the beginning of a new or different career. Relationships end, if not physically, then a stage in the relationship, for example lust, infatuation or physical attraction is replaced in long standing relationships with deep and abiding love.

Setbacks and adversity are often signals that some aspect of life has come to an end or needs to come to an end. They are wake-up calls or what I call choice points in life. Many people, myself included, on a number of occasions, resist endings from time to time. Sometimes however, we embrace or encourage them. We want to continue life, business or a way of life forever. Most people die with unfinished business left in them. It is seldom that there isn't something more that could have been said, done, seen, learned or shared by someone who has passed on.

This is not an article about death and dying. It is about bouncing back from an event that life has been thrown in our path, or we have brought into our life because of our attitudes, decisions, behavior or actions. At the end of this article I will offer some ideas on how to bounce back, but first let's look at a few related ideas.

What gives adversity its power over emotions, feelings and responses? Why is adversity a tool used by some to improve or change, while it is used by others as an excuse or reason to give up or whine and bemoan their circumstances? Where is the potential learning or lessons in a setback or adverse situation?

Life isn't fair, and it isn't unfair. It just is. Life is neutral. It brings each person unique opportunities to learn and grow as a result of the events or circumstances that cross their path. Everyone, I repeat everyone regardless of their age, sex, nationality, religion, career status or financial position is a student in life. Some people, upon an outward-in first glance may "have it made". But do not judge by appearances only. Everyone has inner battles of one kind or another that they are fighting.

No one is immune to the teachings of life. Class is always in session. School is never out. There are no vacations. We never graduate. We don't get to select the curriculum, but we do have to do all the assignments and take all the quizzes. If we pass, we get to move on to other sometimes bigger or higher lessons. If we fail, we get to repeat the same lesson again and again until we finally learn whatever it is we need to learn as we travel through life. The repeated lesson might present itself from a different spouse, career situation, or any number of new and/or different circumstances, but the lesson will be the same.

There are several predicable stages that people go through following any loss regardless of its nature or severity. They are denial, anger, acceptance and finally moving forward.

Many of us bring repeated adversity of one kind or another into our lives and a great many people choose to see themselves as victims. To see yourself as a victim, and not take the responsibility for your circumstances is to live in an inner emotional world dominated by blame, guilt and resentment. I once heard a friend make the statement, "why is this happening to me again?" There was a common denominator in all of the repeated events. It was him.

Adversity gives us the opportunity to do a number of things as we move through our lives. Some of them are: reevaluate old life patterns that are not working; see ourselves more clearly as a contributor; develop new attitudes about life, relationships, money, people, work etc.; observe how we handle the lessons we are given.

A number of people have asked me why some people seem to have or attract more adversity or failure while others seem to glide through life with wonderful relationships, stable financial lives, growing careers, lots of friends and excellent health. I don't know for sure why some people seem to have more, do more and become more while others struggle daily with the basics of life. But I do have a few ideas and will share them with you as food for thought only. You won't find these in a psychology text or on a counselors couch. They are just my observations seeing life through my own personal struggles and successes.

Everyone is on their own personal path through life.

There is a law in the universe called the law of cause and effect. There is another metaphysical concept that states, be careful of what you ask for because you will probably get it. Still another says, what you are seeking is seeking you. There is a great quote from Yogi Bera, "expecting different results from repeated behavior is a mild form of insanity." Another from my relati5B4onship seminar says, life determines who comes into your life, your attitudes and actions determines who stays.

As you can see from a number of different perspectives, a great deal of the adversity and loss in our lives is self-inflicted as a result of our conscious actions, expectations, perceptions and thoughts or our unconscious values, beliefs, judgments and paradigms.

All behavior is the result of a persons consciousness. To attempt to change behavior without first changing consciousness is to invite failure whether it is with eating habits, communication patterns, or work ethics, and everything in between. The reason so many people fail at whatever behavior they attempt to change is because they try to change outside-in rather than inside-out.

What does all of this psychological mumbo jumbo have to do with adversity and bouncing back? Everything. Our state of mind is often fertile ground that attracts adversity into our lives. Our state of mind will determine how we will respond to, or overcome the events that come to us. Our perceptions, or filters (how we see life) will determine our interpretation of whether this is an adversity or not. Give twenty different people the same adverse event, and I guarantee that some will see it as negative, some will see it as positive and some will see it as devastating. The event was the same, the interpretations unique and personal.

Let's summarize and answer th110Ee first question, what gives adversity its power over people's emotions, feelings and responses?

When we are confronted with a situation regardless of its nature, that is perceived as a threat to our comfort, security, sense of well being or the status quo we tend to imagine the worst. Fear takes over. How will I survive alone? Will I ever find a new job or career that I will be successful in? Will I ever find another lasting nurturing relationship? What will my life be like with only memories of the past? Am I destined to struggle my entire life? How can I ever get over this tremendous loss? There are others, but I am confident you see my point.

When we operate out of a consciousness of fear, we tend to lose our perspective. We don't think rightly, see clearly or feel safe. We therefore see ourselves as victims and out of control of our lives.

Adversity can be a tool, just like any other emotional tool for positive change. If the wake-up call is heard, we can listen carefully to what we believe it is trying to teach us. This takes awareness, courage, self-love and patience. If we are too hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up thinking, I am such an idiot, or I'll never get this right or, I deserve all this bad stuff, we will find it difficult to create the proper mind-set to change direction. Adversity needs to be looked at with precision, careful observation and honest introspection. It needs to be seen as one of life's teachers, and not some villain that is out to get us or beat us down.

Having said all this it is also important that we not let ourselves off the hook with justification or acceptance. It is important to learn to become more comfortable with where we want to be or who we want to become rather than where we are or who we are.

As promised here are a few things you can do if you are smack in the middle of a situation that is uncomfortable, challenging or trying to teach you something, in other words an adversity.

One, try and keep the circumstances or situation in perspective. Will this be as big an issue in 100 years as it is today. Two, evaluate the situation in light of your entire life. Three, focus on what you have, not what you lost. This isn't any easy step when you are neck deep in pain, sorrow or grief, but continuing to focus on what is no longer, tends to keep you locked in the past and a state of 'no positive action'. Four, do something, anything to re-focus your thoughts, energy or activities in a positive or more healthy direction. Five, if it is a loss of a relationship or loved one, remember all that you had with them that was good and positive. Six, Remember you can't change what has happened, but you can change the future. And you change your future in your present moments. You also create all of your memories positive or negative, in your present moments. Seven, keep in mind the concept that you don't always get to determine what comes into your life, but you always get the choice of how to react or respond to it.

These are not easy steps. Loss and adversity of any kind are painful and difficult as long as you continue to remain focused on the loss or the problem. To use adversity as a positive teacher that has come lovingly into your life to help you overcome shortcomings, character defaults or poor judgment is a sign of emotional maturity. To wallow indefinitely in the negative circumstance, failure, disappointment or loss is to remain stuck and out of control. Life is neutral. It doesn't care how you react or respond to its teachings.

So the final question I would leave you with is, what kind of a student are you as you pass through the classes in life? Are you a willing learner or are you resisting the teaching, and the opportunity for personal growth?

Building Your Home

Creating A Place To Rejuvenate

I have a musician friend who's group used an old bench for the picture on the front of their album. The album was titled "A Place to Rest". We all can relate to that idea. People in our hurried culture need a place of peace, a place away from the work, noise and over stimulation of the outside world. A place where your mind and body can revive and recharge your energy. If you have a yard this might mean a pool, a nice patio or a garden spot.

Courtyards throughout history have been like walking into another world...an oasis in the desert. Creating such a place of peace can be accomplished even if you don't have a yard. Porches and sunrooms both offer a transitional space between more formal living areas and the outside. Use fun flea market objects you love but can't quite see in the living room. Use old tools or toys. Drag out grandma's old bent up aluminum pots you do not cook with and make planters out of them. Hang wind chimes, suncatchers or stainglass. Small fountains or water gardens create calm soothing sounds. Plants are a must - they bring the outdoors in and keep the blues away in the colder months. Include a rocker, glider, swing or bench no matter where your space is. There is something magically calming about a rythmic motion...ask any baby.

Porch furniture designs now come in a variety of beautiful woods and finishes for both indoor and outdoor use. They are comfortable as well as attractive and made to last a lifetime. See the classic designs of Charleston, St. Augustine and Savannah at whatsinthebarn.com. This handcrafted furniture has true southern charm, is well made and very comfortable. The woods used are beautiful and durable and come in a variety of finishes and colors for outdoor and indoor use. Let us help you create your own personal "place to rest". Visit us at whatsinthebarn.com

Christy Bateman
http://www.whatsinthebarn.com

Martin Luther King

Progressive Goal Party

Hold a "progressive" goal party

If you have a group of friends with the same goal who live in close proximity (or who can meet up comfortably in a third-party establishment), get them involved in a progressive goal party. The idea is to meet at one location, where you all complete one part of the goal as a group, then move on to the next (carpool or walk) 8C0to complete the second part, and so on. This can be extended to include shops and other buildings as well as houses. Be sure to have appropriate snacks, fun activities, etc., at each stop to make it a special day.

A good example would be a Christmas shopping/preparation party: Everybody starts at one house making lists, planning the day's activities and eating a light brunch. Next, hit the malls (or other predetermined shopping areas) together, making sure to help each other hunt down those hard-to-find items - and don't forget to stop by the coffee bar or other dining place to fuel flagging energy and regroup. Afterwards, it's on to the next house to wrap (and have a late lunch or early supper), then on to the next to bake cookies (don't forget the eggnog and late-night snacks!). It's good fun, great camaraderie, and everybody gets their stuff done and over with at one time.

(c) Soni Pitts

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.

She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.

Alexander Graham Bell

Asking For Help

Asking for help is not something we do naturally. We often find it painfully difficult to do because it makes us feel vulnerable, weak or ashamed; and so our fears of rejection and embarrassment get in the way.

In reality, the only real weakness is NOT asking for help. The smartest people I know understand that they do not know everything, and seek to fill those gaps in their knowledge or ability with people who do.

Life is about learning and growth and in the process, we all need help from time to time along the tricky patches. Beyond each challenge awaits an opportunity for growth; and by asking for help when we need it, we discover solutions, gain new insights, and ultimately empower ourselves.

Why It Is Smart To Ask For Help

If you reach out and ask, you will find that help does arrive and your needs are met, often exceeding your highest hopes! Just take a look at some of the reasons why it is smart to ask for help when you feel stuck:

The help you need is more likely to B68arrive if you ask for it! Keeping your problems under wraps does nothing to resolve them, so why not do something positive about it?

Asking for help lets you manage your energy more effectively. Life balance is all about managing your energy. When you ask for help with a difficulty, it frees up more energy for other areas of your life.

It opens opportunities to connect to others in new ways. Asking for help makes others aware of how they can support us and strengthens interpersonal ties.

When we ask for help, we open the door to learning. By opening up to input from others, we expand our own growth and awareness.

By breaking through fear and facing the challenge of asking, we reclaim our power! Our greatest gifts lie just beyond the things we fear the most so ask for help even when you fear the repercussions and you will reclaim your power!

How To Ask For Help

Another important aspect of finding help lies in knowing how to ask for it. Here are a few tips to keep in mind the next time you need help:

Ask for help as soon as you realize you need it. Ignored problems often escalate and become huge issues that drain energy and resources.

Recognize that everyone (including you!) deserves a helping hand, for it is in supporting one another that we all benefit and grow.

Accept that you have nothing to lose except your fear. If the person you approach can help, youll learn from the experience. If they turn you down, you can approach another.

Go to someone you trust. If they dont have the answer, theyll likely know someone who does.

Be clear on what you need. The proven words are, I need your help. Simple and to the point!

Give the person as much detail as possible. Even if you dont understand what the exact problem is, document what you know about the circumstances as well as what you need.

Get a commitment. Ask if they are able to support you and in what capacity. Getting a commitment will set your mind at ease and alleviate a lot of stress. Even if they cannot help you themselves, they may offer valuable suggestions or refer you to someone who can help. Either way, youll benefit!

When you find the solution to your problem, document it for future reference. You might run into that problem again someday when no-one is around to help, or you might pass along the information to someone else in need.

Next time you feel exhausted and overwhelmed, ask for the help you need and deserve. Ask despite your fears and with a focus on the rewards. Doing so can provide you with much more than just the help you needed.

Copyright 2006 Ada Porat

Ada Porat facilitates personal development through the integrati3D6on of body, mind and spirit. She enjoys international recognition as an inspirational speaker, teacher, author and practitioner at the leading edge of personal growth and well-being. To sign up for Ada's inspirational monthly newsletter, visit http://www.AdaPorat.com

Self Empowerment

Two Letter Word That Is The Key To Time Management

We all know that we should be spending as much time as possible on important but not urgent activities. For example planning, preventing crises before they happen, building relationships and looking for new opportunities. However so many people seem to spend their lives swamped in urgent, unimportant things that they never get the time for the important stuff. If you have this problem, you need to learn a magic word

Creating time to control the crises

If you spend your life going from one crisis to another, or spending time on unimportant trivia, then you need to learn how to use the magic word - NO

Your time is the most precious quantity you have, you only have one chance at it and you need to use it wisely. You must allocate some of it to planning and developing your long term future.

The problem is in our fast paced world of instant communications and higher pressures at work and in the home, there are so many things that could claim some of your time. You will not have the time to do everything and you are going to have to learn to say no.

Learning to s5B4ay no

One of the key concepts of the 7 habits of highly effective people is that you should use principles to guide you. Using principles as a basis, you can develop a clear idea of where you are going in your life your life mission or purpose.

Once you know where you are going, you can work out how you are going to get there. This plan can include your job, your personal life, your life in your community Now you have a basis for evaluating each new request or opportunity as it arises. You can evaluate whether it fits in with what you plan to do and whether you can find the time to do it or not. You will know with reassurance whether to say yes or no.

Saying no can sometimes be difficult. For instance if your boss wants you to help patch up a crisis you might just have to put your other plans on hold for a while. However, you should have a clear plan that you have negotiated with your boss. If your goals will be compromised you can ask your boss which of the other things we have agreed on should I put on hold while I do this new task.

In fact, this approach can work well in lots of different situations. In other situations you are just going to have to find a way to say no as politely as possible.

The person that many people find it hardest to say no to is themselves. You will need to develop the self discipline to work on your goals rather than spend your time on unimpor5B4tant activities like watching the TV, minor interruptions from people around, you inconsequential phone calls and all the other ways that you have of distracting yourself from your true purpose.

No is the most important word in the language of time management in a world where you are bombarded by interruptions and time wasting activities.

The 7 habits of highly effective people teaches us that when you truly know what you want to do and you develop the ability to say no to anything that does not support your life purpose, you will find that you can succeed in reaching your life goals.

Do you want to find out more about the 7 habits of highly effective people

You can get a free e-course the success principle. Visit my website for more resources, articles, and support materials about success and personal growth.

Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to develop the understanding and skills needed to achieve the success that they want.

Alexander Graham Bell

Building Your Coaching Business - Constant Flow of More New Clients

Here is an approach that keeps new clients coming without end. Ask for two referrals every time you signup a new client. Make it a part of your fee.

When you quote your fee in a proposal, or verbally, request 2 referrals as a part of that fee. It might sound something like this.

Always state that your fee is ...whatever it is plus 2 referrals...with the stipulation that "....as long as you are extremely happy with the results you get. My goal is for you to get _________ times more than you paid, and a referral is a natural outcome. In fact, my fee is (state a higher rate, by $500 to $1000) without the referrals and $_________ with the referrals. So, be thinking as we go through the program who you know that needs help moving their business forward at least as far as you will have moved." Always position yourself that you are so confident that he will be extremely satisfied, and you have to deliver on that promise to collect on the referral. Show him how confident you are and that you'll have to deliver to get those referrals.

Remind your client every week or so to be thinking about who they know that would like to et the same kinds of results they are getting right now. That will be an easy referral if you have made a significant difference in this client's business.

Also, coach your client how to make that referral. It should never be that coaching costs $________. It should look more like, "Wow, my coach has helped me get an additional $__________", or "This coach I'm working with has doubled my [department, workgroup, business] in just weeks, what are you struggling with where you'd like for that to happen?"

Now, let's look at what this would do for your business. If, for every client you get, you get 2 more referrals, and assuming you typically close at least 50+% of your sales, then you have a steady stream of clients, one behind the other. You'll close at least one of these two, resulting in one client added for every client you already have. Obviously adjust your figures based on your typical results. I also find that a referral is likely to result in something like 75% or more closure, but under one condition....that the referral really is to someone who needs you rather than blind referrals. It is up to you to coach your client who the right referral is, and this will become a steady stream of new clients.

Although this could keep a steady stream of clients, if you are also keeping existing clients, moving them into monthly coaching programs, and other opportunities, you should be building a larger and larger base of current clients.

A word of caution: if you only have one client at a time, make sure that you have other marketing going to build your client base large enough. At one client at a time, just one time not closing a new client will put you back to zero. Just one client not making the right referral can set you to zero.

This is an extremely powerful approach, and should be used with every client. But don't bet the farm until you have a large enough client base where the overall statistics will average out over time..

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http://www.leaders-perspective.com/Super-Star-Coaching-Business.htm

Self Empowerment

How To Plan The Rest Of Your Life

Some people value spontaneity. Others crave structure. Still, it would help if you would go through life with direction, and with goals. Goals help in guiding your choices. Purpose underlines everything you do.

So youre in a new stage in your life. Either youve graduated from high school or college, decided to move on from a suffocating job, or just basically in a new stage in your life. You want to plan out the steps you want to take now, and you want to make the best choices that life has to offer.

Get a pen and paper; we have lots of writing to do.

On that piece of paper, put a heading in the center: Mission/Vision.

Take some time to think about this. Take hours. Days. Weeks. It doesnt matter, but give yourself a deadline. When you have thought it over, write down what you would want to achieve by the end of your life. What do you want to build your life around? Is it to attain certain educational milestones? Earn a certain amount of money? Be a philanthropist? State it under your Mission/Vision. This will be the center theme of your life. You can change it any time you want, but the entire list will be built around this.

Under Mission/Vision, divide the paper into two equal halves. One side will go to Short-term Goals. The other side will go to Long-term Goals.

Under the Short-term Goals, write down everything you want to get done within five years. Under Long-term Goals, write down the milestones you want throughout your life.

In the Short-term Goals, assign the deadlines by which you want these goals done. In the Long-term Goals, assign your age by which you would want to achieve these milestones.

Now rewrite the entire list in chronological order, then examine your list. Commit to memory your Short-term Goals, and the Long-term Goals you have for this year. If you have trouble remembering your list, use a calendar. A paper one will do, but you can also use a computer program if you have one, or an application in whatever handheld gadget you have (a PDA or cellular phone with reminder or calendar applications would do fine).

The purpose of this exercise is for you to have a visual representation of your goals. Having a visual representation of your goals heightens the chances that you will commit to seeing them done. Knowing that you have concretized your plans gives you more resolution to stick to these.

But even if you have your plans on paper, you will need to remember that you have to be flexible. Life is fluid, and seldom goes according to plan. But if you really want to reach your goals, despite the shifts in life, you will always revert to your blueprint (the paper outline you just made).

Your Mission/Vision, as said earlier, will be the theme driving your choices. This will be the anchor when storms rock your lifes boat. The chain links of your anchor will be your personal values, principles, and your growth in character.

It would help if you would keep a diary to outline the life lessons youve learned, and your driving values and principles. When faced with dilemmas, revert to these. It may not make the problems go away, but they will help in making decisions, especially if these decisions tempt you to compromise.

Sail through the sea of life, and remember, you have an anchor when storms come your way.

Matthew Roberts (the author of this article) has set you up with a special gift on his website.

In an exclusive personal interview he uncovered the secret success strategies of multi-millionaire John Di Lemme. For your FREE 18 minute extract of this interview, head on over to http://www.InspirationToAchieve.com

Different Names Of God

How To Set Goals And Create A Running Training Program

Training is an important aspect of being a runner. Whether you are a beginner and you are looking to increase your stamina or youve been running for a while and want to run faster or train for an event such as a marathon, training is something that is an essential part of the sport.

There is an art to choosing a good training program. The program you choose will depend on your goals and your needs. Here is some advice that will help you find a runner training program that will work for you.

Decide on Your Goals

The first step to choosing a runner training program is to decide on your goals. If you are a beginner, your training program will look a lot different than someone who is running their third marathon.

Sometimes a goal will be personal such as a desire to run five miles without stopping to rest. Other times a goal will be focused on an event such as running a 10K or a marathon. And often, people will run to help them lose weight or to build up their overall state of health.

Once you decide on your goals, write them down and put them in places where you can see them often. Turn the goal statements into affirmations and recite them a few times each day. For example, if you want to use running to help you lose ten pounds, your affirmation could be: Running is helping me lose ten pounds.

Choose a Program

Based on your list of goals, you are ready to choose or develop a runner training program that will work for you. If you need help, consult with someone who has more experience than you.

For example, if your goal is to run a marathon, you will want to choose a training schedule that will help you run a successful race. But, there are so many programs out there that it can be difficult choosing the one that is right for you. A beginning marathon runner will not follow the same program as someone who is racing in their fifth marathon.

In general, look for a runner training program that is a little challenging but not out of your reach. You dont want to get discouraged and then give up.

Stick With It

You can spend a lot of time setting goals and fining a training program, but if you dont stick with it, your efforts will not mean anything. Everyone has different ways of finding their motivation. Once you find what motivates you, sticking with your training plan will get much easier.

It takes a while to establish a routine. Before a routine is in place, you may feel disorganized or unmotivated. Give yourself a few weeks to establish a good routine before you start getting discouraged. Often, the routine will make you more motivated.

Gray Rollins is a writer for TheRunnersGuide.com - a great resource for distance runners. Be sure to visit us to learn about the benefits of running and also for a marathon training guide.

Making Your Thoughts Work

Become Wealthy Through Self Development

Almost everyone I know has a desire - whether in the back or the forefront of their minds - to become wealthy. The Universe is a place of abundance and every person has a right to and access to that abundance. So why isn't everyone wealthy?

People become stuck at levels of existence because of limiting beliefs they cling to in their daily work and living. Those limitations put the brakes on manifesting wealth and plenty in their lives.

And everybody - including myself - possesses and regularly uses limiting beliefs. Even Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, and Oprah Winfrey possess limiting beliefs but in their cases, probably far fewer than the average person.

The answer to removing limiting beliefs is self development.

By expanding your knowledge and understanding of the world and how it operates, you will become aware of your beliefs and their affect on your life. After becoming aware and developing greater wisdom, you will be equipped to make the changes in your work and life that allow wealth and abundance to enter freely into your life.

Want to become wealthy? Get off your duff and start educating yourself.

Make a commitment to setting up routines of study and learning.

I recommend setting aside 30 minutes each day to read. I've found in my work that outstanding leaders are readers. If you want more success and wealth, begin creating the habit of reading 30 minutes every day.

As you travel in your car, listen to educational CDs over and over again until you know the information they contain. Identify topic areas to build expertise in each quarter and focus on that content for three months.

Use your spare time to read important articles from the professional magazines you subscribe to. Learn about all areas of your life including health, spiritual, relationship or family, social, career, and financial.

As you develop yourself through the acquisition of knowledge and understanding, you will become motivated to make the changes necessary to allow wealth and abundance to flow more freely to you.

This doesn't happen over night so it's not a quick fix. It's a mindset, a habit of action that used consistently over time will change and enrich your work and life.

You choose! Stay the way you are or engage in life long learning. What is your choice?

Joe Farcht is the founder and president of Leadership Advantage, Inc. His purpose for living is to develop and coach leaders, executives, managers, and supervisors to new levels of performance and success in their work and life. He is the author of the book Building Personal Leadership: Inspirational Tools & Techniques for Work & Life. Learn more at Leadership Advantage, Inc. Please contact Joe at joefarcht@cox.net or at 602 996-1802.

Bodhi

Death Poem

During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death was never far from my mind. We had been told he was dying and even a time in which it was supposed to happen. We had no idea of how it would happen. I was loathe to let him out of my sight incase he should suddenly die and not return to me and woke each day fearing that he may have died during the night. Towards the end of his illness I sensed that death was near, waiting in the shadows to steal my love from me and wrote the following poem.

Death, it waits in the shadows

But it sneaks ever closer

I can sense it- almost smell it

Tangible- real- waiting

Death it waits like a vulture

Watching the once strong body falter

But it has no notion of will

The will to live which fights on

Refusing to see death even though

It stares him in the face

It does not honour courage

But I, witness to this brave struggle

Will forever hold my love in awe

His courage humbles me

His uncomplaining nature humbles me

His love un-changing and ever true

Holds me up

Despite his prognosis of three to nine months, Brian survived for two years. His courage never wavered and he fought a valiant battle to the end. Bed bound just three days prior to his death, he passed away at home surrounded by his loved ones. He was 54 years old.

Poem written by: Lorraine Kember Author of Lean on Me Cancer through a Carers Eyes. Lorraines book is written from her experience of caring for her dying husband in the hope of helping others. It includes insight and discussion on: Anticipatory Grief, Understanding and identifying pain, Pain Management and Symptom Control, Chemotherapy, Palliative Care, Quality of Life and Dying at home. It also features excerpts and poems from her personal diary. Highly recommended by the Cancer Council. Lean on Me is not available in bookstores - For detailed information, Doctors recommendations, Reviews, Book Excerpts and Ordering Facility - visit her website http://www.cancerthroughacarerseyes.jkwh.com

Jimmy Carter

Seven Steps to Prepare for Next World and Meet Messiah

Seven Steps of Walking the Red Road (Quote from book Red Hat Speaks)

Step 1: Observe nature with awe and gratitude. A sense of love and respect for all creation will begin to grow within me.

Creation. Our universe. The cycles of life and death. A vast composite of exquisite harmony--a truly beautiful harmonic symphony of melodious verse, with each vibratory element sustaining one another, loving one another. This is truly a miracle of melodies played out in the grand scheme of creation.

As we quietly observe a tiny red bird sitting on a branch serenading the early morning sun, we begin to understand the magnificent beauty of nature. The glorious sunflower that bows its head to the east, the little bear cub that goes into its first winter of hibernation, and the salmon that swim upstream every year to spawn, are all wondrous signs of the glorious harmony of nature. As we focus on Mother Earth, and the family of creation that she nourishes, we become filled with an exhilarating sense of awareness of the awesome blessing Great Spirit has bestowed on us. We are filled with a sense of love and respect, and with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. We begin to understand that we are all part of this miraculous environment.

Many yearn to return to an age of peace and harmony where we can all live in brotherhood, and in balance with creation. No one stands alone. We each need to understand that peace and harmony in the world begins with the love in our own hearts.

The ancestors watch with hopeful hearts that we will create a nurturing world for our children--that we will each contribute toward balance and respect for all creation.

Step 2: Learn to trust Creator, and accept my circumstances. Overcoming adversity will produce spiritual growth within me as I walk the Red Road.

A sweet, gentle melody drifts throughout the room, as mothers soft humming accompanies the delicious aroma of homemade bread. Warm contentment floods the soul. The ancestors smile.

The warmth of a mothers love is the foundation of the Cherokee way. Love is what it is all about. As we receive this love from mother, and other clan members, we learn to receive this same warm love from Creator. As this overwhelming love fills our heart, it overflows, and others around us receive of its blessing--the flow of Living Waters. We learn to give and receive unconditional love. It flows freely and abundantly between us, Great Spirit, and others.

Sweet, sweet contentment. Fragrance of sweet grass and sage smoke permeate the air. All is in harmony with Creator. Life is in balance.

Then one day we realize that there is something really wrong here--we are discontented with our circumstances. The warmth is gone, and a dark, foreboding coldness has set in--a coldness that chills the soul. We no longer experience love. We start to think, if we could only get more things, more power, more ego building, then surely we would be happy.

So we try to get, get, get, taking unfairly from others in the process. But happiness evades us. We become a sad, loathsome specimen of humanity. We no longer like whom we have become.

Where is the light that will lead us back to Creator, back to a joyful reunion with Him?

It is such a simple way back. It is in giving that we receive joy. It is in loving that we find love. It is in being a friend that we will have a friend. When we truly search for Creator with all our hearts, we will find Him. We will begin to understand the wisdom of the ancestors.

We choose whether we will walk in darkness or in the light. In the Dead Sea Scrolls, we are told how to distinguish between those who walk in darkness (sons of darkness) versus those who walk in light (sons of light.) We are told, if we will hurt a person to gain a thing, we are children of darkness, but if we will give up a thing for a person, then we are children of light.

When we look within ourselves, we know if we have chosen to walk in darkness or light. Also, by the fruit of our lives, so does everyone else. We hide nothing! We deceive only ourselves if we think others are unaware of our darkness!

If we want to return to our true Cherokee way, we must learn to walk in the light. We must learn to be content in the circumstances in which we find ourselves. We must learn to trust Creator, and live in harmony with all of Creation. Only then will we find true peace and joy, and learn to live in the wisdom of the ancestors.

Step 3: Seek for truth within myself, that I may remove hypocrisy and evil intent from within my heart.

In the very beginning, Creator gave us teachings to live by. These teachings lived in our hearts as spiritual truths that brought us abundant joy as we walked hand in hand with Him.

We knew how to love, honor, and respect our fellow brothers and sisters. In Native American culture, these teachings were passed on by stories and other word of mouth teachings during times of family and community bonding.

These were precious times, part of Cherokee culture. However, we taught our children most of all by the way we lived, especially how we treated others, how we treated all creation with respect, and how we lived in the will of Great Spirit. Many of us yearn to return to this mode of living and believe we can.

For most of us, the statement, Abstain from doing evil, is pretty clear. However, more understanding can be gained from the wisdom of ancient Hindu writings, and the teachings of ancient Jewish sages, that could help us learn to walk the Red Road in harmony with Creator, and thereby regain more of our Cherokee culture.

How we treat others is who we become. The more hurtful things we do to others, or say to others, or about others, the more tendencies (samskaras (Hindu)) we create within ourselves to do these things. We grow more and more into mean-spirited, hurtful people who turn their backs on Creator. We move into a darker, and darker state of being. Evil behavior is an addiction that feeds on itself.

However, there is a cure. The reverse is also true. The more we perform kind actions, with an attitude of unconditional love, and treat others with loving-kindness, tolerance, and respect, the more these tendencies will begin to grow within our own hearts. We will move closer, and closer to walking in harmony with Great Spirit. Our joy will grow in direct proportion to our attitudes of unconditional love, accompanied by actions performed with loving kindness and compassion.

We can regain true Cherokee culture as that practiced by our ancient ancestors. When we break old habits of evil tendencies, and develop new loving habits, we will become true Cherokee who walk harmoniously with Creator.

May Great Spirit guide our walk in the wisdom of the ancestors.

Step 4: Repent and humbly surrender my will to Creator, that I may become one with Great Spirit.

The joy of walking in harmony with Creator cannot be surpassed by any worldly activity. It produces a profound sense of peace ad completeness--it answers the question Who am I?

Then we might be led to ask ourselves, How can I find my way into this oneness with Creator?

First is the knowledge that when we search for Him with our whole hearts, we will find Him. However, to receive His blessing, we must be mentally and spiritually prepared. This is where repentance and humility come into the picture.

When our hearts are in a non-repentant state, we are rebelling against Creator with our entire being. In essence, we are shaking our fist at the universe. Likewise, arrogance, pride, and self-will close the doorway of communication with Him--we choose to lock Him out.

Repentance and humility are the open doorway to Creator. Through this doorway, we move into harmony with His loving spirit. This is the doorway through which we communicate with the ancestors--through which joyous blessings flow.

Total surrender of our will to Creator, in an attitude of repentance and humility, opens the doorway to Him, and we enter His spiritual realm. Our spirit merges with His, and an overwhelming gladness fills our being. We become complete in the fullness of His spirit, within the purpose for which we were created. In essence, we become one with Him.

Step 5: Communicate with Great Spirit from my heart--listen, and live the insight I receive.

As we live and breathe, we are one with Great Spirit. It is just as natural to be in Creator as it is to breathe. As the innocence of a newborn baby reflects Him, so must we return to this same state of innocence, in total trust of Him, if we are to return to the way of the ancestors.

The loss of unity of mind and heart is probably the greatest loss that keeps us from truly walking the Cherokee way. As an ancient sage tells us, Creator is on our lips, but far from our hearts. We can try to convince others that we walk with Great Spirit by speaking about holy things. However, our actions speak much louder than our words, and our actions betray what is in our hearts, and what is in our hearts is who we really are.

How long can we sit on the fence and pretend to be walking with Creator, while in truth we are merely vacillating between darkness and light. If we are trying to keep just a little evil in our lives, then we are like lukewarm water. Putrid! When will the specific moment in time be reached when we hear the words, So be it! You have chosen--you are what you have chosen to be!

There is a way back to unity in Creator. We need to start developing loving thoughts and loving habits. Our thoughts become actions, which in the end will determine our destiny.

May we walk in unity of body, mind, and spirit--in the wisdom of the ancestors.

Step 6: Learn true abstinence--it is in serving others, with an attitude of loving-kindness, that I create a flow of Living Waters which will purify my heart.

A hungry little girls face lights up with a smile, as we hand her a delicious hot meal--a plate filled with mashed potatoes and gravy, turkey, cornbread dressing, corn, squash, cranberries, and a hot roll. Our heart swells with joy. We gave up preparing a dinner at home so we could be here at the shelter to give a bit of happiness to someone else. This is true abstinence--to abstain from self-indulgence so we can lovingly share with someone else.

An act of kindness done for another, is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. It unclogs our own heart, thereby allowing for the flow of Living Waters--and flowing water purifies. And, as the heart is purified, it fills with the comforting warmth of love and compassion. Oh, for the secure, comforting arms of mother, and the warmth of her love when we are feeling down or depressed. These comforting fruits of love and compassion are the fruits that bring joy to the ancestors.

It takes so little for us to share some good energy with another, and with our environment. May we each have the opportunity to lighten the burden of someone less fortunate than ourselves--may we share the gift of Living Waters.

May we face each new day praying that Creator will send someone our way--someone we may serve with humility and loving-kindness, that we may create a flow of Living Waters which will purify our hearts.

Step 7: Attain complete, joyous harmony with Great Spirit--walk the Red Road. This requires that I totally surrender my will to the will of Creator, and love others unconditionally without judgment because that is who I am.

The truth of the ancient Hebraic teaching, telling us to love Creator with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves, quickens our spirits. And again, the teaching to do this and life would be ours, assures us of His great love and promise.

This promise is not just for a future time, but life on this earth truly blossoms when we walk in harmony in the fullness of His spirit.

How did we Cherokee lose our culture? What is missing that we no longer walk the way of the ancient ancestors--the Cherokee way?

We need to understand the questions of, What must we do? and How do we do it? to redeem the way of the ancestors.

In the first command above, to love Creator with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves, we are told what to do. The ancestors have also revealed how we are to do it--total surrender to the will of Great Spirit, and unconditional love without judgment toward our fellow man. (Judgment stops the flow of love!)

There are at least two things missing from our lives today that prevent us from walking the Cherokee way. First, we need to learn ceremony and the traditional way of the ancestors. But is this enough? No, this will not return the ancestral way. We must have the spirit also.

Now, if we combine the traditional knowledge of the ancestors and elders with the spirit, then the Cherokee way will come alive!

Let us walk in the traditional, and spiritual ways of our ancestors. (Aho--so be it!)

Much love and warm thoughts, Dorothy K. Daigle, The Lady in White

Dorothy learned from Cherokee elder, John Red Hat Duke, of the Keetoowah spiritual ways. She cared for him the last years of his life, and had many deep, spiritual discussions with him. Her understanding of the Keetoowah spiritual ways are included in two books, Red Hat Speaks, and Red Hat's Wisdom. She now lives in the mountains of Colorado.

Ronald Reagan

My Grief Is Worse Than Your Grief

To some, grief is a feeling to run from, they pretend it is non-existent. To others, it is worn as a badge of honor, a way to garner attention. Others move through it as best they can. But, in the lonely sanctum of their homes, the real truth rears its ugly head. The pain comes full force.

Leading a Grief Support Group has been for me, an education in humanity. Even though I have also become a widow, my experience has been mellow compared to some others I encountered.

Jimmie and Bob were both widowers, Jimmy had lost his wife only 3 months ago, Bob, ten years.

Jimmy shared how his wife had died of the rampages of cancer.

LOVING WORDS THAT BACKFIRED

He stated her last words to him were, I dont want you to be alone. I want you to find someone to make you happy.

Little did she know that she was sentencing her husband to a much longer period of over coming his grief. As a result of her order, Jimmy had been actively pursuing any woman who seemed to show the slightest bit of interest in him, a #1 no, no for a newly grieving spouse. Our suggestions that that was not a good idea until he had worked through his grief had been ignored. He complained of continually being rebuffed by the women he had approached, but was determined to pursue the ladies.

IGNORING THE ELEPHANT IN THE LIVING ROOM Bobs wife was a cancer victim, also. From his description, they apparently had a very loving marriage, but Bobs grief was deep. He denied feelings of anger or resentment. His claim that he came to meetings because he was lonely and thought he could help other people in his situation, by offering understanding. He displayed little outside, emotional pain except the feeling of deep loss. He denied he and his wife had had any issues, that she was almost the perfect wife and oh, how he missed her.

THE BADGE OF HONOR During the time that these two gentlemen were in our Support Group, it appeared that they could consider each other as a compatible friend, with a common understanding of grief and loss. Yet, through weeks of attendance, there was an underlying current of antagonism in some of their comments towards each other.

As the Facilitator of the group, I could not understand that attitude. The evening that that emotional underground erupted, I thought Mike, my Co-Facilitator was going to have to physically separate the two men.

Unaware of the first comment that was spoken, my first awareness was of Jimmy jumping up from his chair and with an in your face attitude, stating, You dont know my pain! My pain is worse than yours. My wife just died 3 months ago! Yours died ten years ago!

Bob countered with It dont matter how long its been. I loved her and she loved me! Dont you tell me that your grief is worse than mine!

Mike and I were stunned at first. It was almost as if two little boys were arguing over which one had the most marbles.

TRYING TO DIFFUSE THE SITUATION We tried to joke them out of it. That did not work!

I realized that sounds as if I am minimizing the full density of the event, but it was a new experience to both of us. Mike stood up and came between the two and encouraged them to settle down and rethink the manner in which they were behaving. The other group members remained quiet, as if stunned, also.

Eventually the two men apologized to each other, but would not let go of the idea that their grief was more painful than the other.

That incident brought to light that both men did in deed need to seek professional counseling, to rid themselves of the deep-seated factors of denial and anger.

Once the situation calmed down, the impact of that experience taught us all that everyones grief is very personal, deep and on a level of the sacred. No one can judge the depth of grief that other people are experiencing and neither should they try!

For more tips and tools to on how to survive divorce and loss and make healthy relationship choices you are invited to visit http://www.butterflyintonewlife.com Patricia Hubbard has Facilitated a Support Group for Separated, Divorced and Widowed people for the past 11 years.

Jimmy Carter

Life Coaching Training

In this hectic paced, crazy world, it is sometimes difficult to find a balance, or a path, to get you through the day. Through life coaching training, you can help yourself get through the day with a peaceful mind, and feel accomplished at the end of the day.

Giving yourself more confidence in the things you do and the actions you take are a big part of self confidence and happiness. Here is a simple way of Life Coaching Training yourself. For starters, in the morning when you wake up, start a small list of things for yourself to accomplish during the month. Keep track of this list and continue writing on it. There are two key items that need to be written on this list daily. For one, write down every morning what you plan to accomplish for the day, be it grocery shopping, or watching your favourite television boardshow. The second thing, write down your thoughts. Write down how you feel, write down the events of the past night, write down what you dreamt! It does not matter; just get it out of you. This technique helps clear your mind at the start of the day so you can concentrate and put more energy into accomplishing your set goals.

The next step in Life Coaching Training is to follow through! Always remind yourself of your goals for the day, and strive to achieve them! If you feel for some reason that you cannot do it, push yourself, encourage yourself that you can and will do it! At the end of each night, look at your list and write down what you accomplished, if you accomplished everything you hoped to, and write down your feelings of the day. And always write down what you did not accomplish. This makes it easier to see your faults and what areas have room for improvement. If you keep up with your list, someday you will find that the list is growing bigger and bigger over time, yet you will have no trouble accomplishing anything on it. This is the goal of Life Coaching Training.

By working on this Life Coaching Training list every day, and making sure you accomplish everything possible to accomplish, you are opening new doors to new experiences, and you are also building self confidence. If you can accomplish this Life Coaching Training list daily, then you can tackle any obstacle!

For more information, refer to http://debt-management-solution.net/debt-financial-solution/financial-freedom/

My Name is Eldad Zakay and I am 35 years old. I work as a website promoter for few years. I am married with one kid. My wife Orit is also my business partner. Working from home is a great business, you are attached to your kids and your family. By promoting website, I bump into a lot of interesting information, that I would love to share with you.

Bill Gates

Father's Day

Once again its Fathers day
A day thats just for you
For me to show my gratitude
For everything that you do
You always have time for me
Even in your busy day
A friendly word, a joke or two
Your loving smile goes a long way
I hardly ever say, I love you
But I feel with all my heart
A love that will never end
Its been growing from the start
Youll always be my special friend
Yes Dad thats what you are
There could never be another Dad
Who compares to you, by far
Thank you for being wonderful
I love you, yes I do
You are the greatest ever Dad
Thank you for being you.

My name is Joanne Hale, known as Jo by friends and family (except for my Mum, who still calls me Joanne note the two syllables Jo and anne always got me two smacks whenever I was naughty as a child!). I was born in Bristol in May 1970 and have lived in and around there all my life. I married in 1999, which did not work out and ended in divorce less than a year later. I married for the second time in February 2001, to Peter, who I love with all my heart and soul we truly are soulmates. We currently have one cat. I have a really good imagination, which can sometimes be a hindrance, but it is what helps me with inspiration to write my poetry, which I do as a form of relaxation and to give pleasure to others that read it. I write about everyday occurrences and events that have either happened to me or to others. I had my first poem published in a magazine when I was 10 years old since then I have had poems published in a variety of things, and over the past few years, quite a few in anthologies with Forward Press and others.

I'm now putting my poetry online now. I have a web site at http://www.johalepoetry.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/ I also have a blog at http://jo-hale-poetry.blogspot.com/

John F Kennedy

How to Deal with Heartbreak

Learning how to deal with heartbreak is not a skill we are born with. Getting the news that your ex broke up with you brings on intense feelings of confusion and sadness. But there are things you can do to triumph over heartbreak, it is just a matter of setting goals and redirecting your focus from the pain. Here are some quick tips to help you get started.

Get Out of the House
The worst thing you can do at this point is to stay inside and reminisce over your old relationship. You need to interact with your friends and family no matter how hard it might be to visualize talking with other people. Dont avoid situations because you think your ex will come up in the conversation. If this happens, just tell them that you appreciate their support and quickly change the subject. The more socializing you can do, the more you will occupy your mind with other things.

Treat Yourself
Dealing with heartbreak can zap your energy and dampen your spirits, so a little self-pity is allowed. Treat yourself to a new pair of jeans or something else you have been holding back on. This will give you a small taste of the empowerment and control that you are lacking in your life. Of course you should be careful not to go overboard. Rewarding yourself outside of your means can bring on feelings of guilt. Dont go on a rabid shopping spree; just find that special item that will bring a smile to your face.

Dont Punish Yourself
Too many people torture themselves after a break up by listening to sad songs or browsing through old pictures. You should give yourself only one day for pain and suffering. Use this time to get all of the tears and moping out of your system. After this you need to promise yourself that each day you will take another step towards moving on. Everyone deserves one day to wallow in depression, but after this point you simply need to try harder.

Set New Goals
This is the most important step in getting over your heartbreak. You need to visualize the future and where you want to be one year from now. It is best to stay away from relationship goals and instead focus on your personal aspirations. Career ambitions, fitness goals, and financial aspirations are all great places to start. Set incremental goals that will allow you to see progress as work towards the finish line. Each achievement will instill a new level of confidence in you.

Understanding how to deal with heartbreak is the first step in overcoming it. It is true that time heals all wounds, but only for those who want to be healed. Give yourself a short time to be sad, but then motivate yourself to control your destiny. You are the same wonderful person that you were before the break up, and your life will flourish again once you perceiver through this trying time.

Not every relationship has to end after a break up. Find proven strategies for how to get your ex back at GetBackMyEx.com

Spirituality

How Gratitude Can Change You Life

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, the holiday that has its origin in the Puritan's tradition of giving thanks for a good harvest. The Puritans weren't the first in this regard. Many religious and societal traditions are based in the concept of gratitude. What all these traditions may or may not have known is that recent scientific studies point to a direct link between gratitude and a deep satisfaction with life. Not only is it good to give thanks, it is good for you to do so!

In a study at the University of California at Davis, Professor Robert Emmons came up with some very interesting and illuminating results from his research project on gratitude and thankfulness. Professor Emmons found that people who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events. In addition, participants who kept the journals were more likely to make progress towards their personal goals in life.

The study also notes that people with a strong disposition toward gratitude have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others. Grateful individuals place less importance on material goods; they are less likely to judge their own and others law of success in terms of possessions accumulated; they are less envious of wealthy persons; and are more likely to share their possessions with others relative to less grateful persons.

If the practice of gratitude is so beneficial to our overall well-being, how can we learn to cultivate it more? My gut feeling is that the type of gratitude we normally experience when we see others that are less fortunate than ourselves is not enough. If it were, we would all be much happier as we are surrounded by evidence of the suffering of so many people in the world today. It seems that we need to look directly at our own lives in order to be truly grateful and thereby reap the benefits of gratitude.

The concept of gratitude is directly related to the idea of the power of positive thinking. Concentrating on what we do have versus what we don't have seems to be the key. Reminding ourselves on a daily basis of all the things that come our way keeps us grounded in gratitude instead of want. At any given moment during the day we can stop in the moment and be thankful. Keeping a record of these moments, journaling, is what Professor Emmons recommends. When life becomes overwhelming we can look back at our musings and see just how lucky we really are.

Indeed, further results of the University of California's study show that a daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) with young adults resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy compared to a focus on hassles or a downward social comparison (ways in which participants thought they were better off than others). There was no difference in levels of unpleasant emotions reported in the three groups.

As we are told not to sweat the small things so too can we be very grateful for the little joys in our lives. I just got back from running to school to drop-off something for my daughter. Upon entering the house, which is warm and toasty compared to the rainy, cold day outside, I was greeted by my three dogs with tons of kisses and love. They now lie by my feet as I type away. The house is peaceful and quiet like my own personal sanctuary. I glance out my windows and see nothing but the foliage that envelops my home. These are the little moments that that we can become attuned to in gratitude. There are hundreds of such moments in any given week if we are mindful of them. They add up and build upon one another to create a more centered, content and positive perspective on life.

Furthermore, the research reports that grateful people do not deny or ignore the negative aspects of life. Again, my intuition tells me that given the perspective that gratitude gifts us, we are undoubtedly more equipped to handle life's challenges. One's attitude can determine how effective one is in coping with what life throws in our direction. Our perspective on life determines our reality. If we approach things with a perspective grounded in say the belief that life is unfair, everything that turns up will look unfair. But as we practice gratitude, we are endowed with its gifts of optimism and the necessary energy required to take on our lives.

How can you start to practice gratitude? Begin with the art of mindfulness, being totally present in the moment. Notice all the little things that surround you, things you might take for granted if you hadn't stopped to really look. Offer acknowledgement of these small gifts much like my moment in a warm and peaceful home with my dogs. Write them down in a gratitude journal. The little things make up the fabric of our days, our months, and our years. Oftentimes we hardly notice them because we are so caught up in the task of living. As they say, stop and smell the roses.

Stop and consider what you have been given in life. Are you blessed with financial security? Do you have loving children, a supportive family? A nice home? Are you in good health? Do you enjoy your work? Do you have wonderful friends? What does nature give to you? Do you have a supportive and loving mate? Concentrate on what you do have and not what you lack.

Research also tells us that the act of giving back to the world has much the same effect as gratitude. Interestingly enough, Emmons study also found that participants in the daily gratitude condition were more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or having offered emotional support to another. The act of gratitude and the act of giving back therefore reinforce each other and lead to the inevitable ...more fulfilling, meaningful and happy lives.

These are things that we all know to be true in the abstract and yet we can take them from the abstract into the specifics of our own existence. Start practicing gratitude today. Pull out a notebook and write down just one thing. Commit to adding to this journal everyday. A good time might be before bedtime when you have time to reflect back on your day. Think of all the good things that occurred. Perhaps a brief but meaningful exchange with a child or a friend. Maybe a great cup of coffee. When you put down your pen and paper, you might just go to sleep easier. That's yet something else for which to be grateful.

You can live a life that truly works and you can achieve peak performance in all areas of your life. You can not only survive life's unexpected changes and transitions but also thrive. Powerful change is possible. You are fully capable of creating a life that you choose.

Life Coaching is a proven, powerful, one-on-one professional relationship that promises to improve the quality of your life! Learn how to create positive change in your life. Visit http://www.changecoachshelley.com and take your free customized Life Quiz and also Shelley's Blog at http://shelleyblog.changecoachshelley.com for more tools for personal growth and power. Contact Shelley Stile at shelleystile@changecoachshelley.com today!

Abraham Lincoln