A Child's Confession - Wisdom of a Guro

I want to take a moment to address something that has an effect on all of us. Not just children, but also adults. I want to take a moment and address that inner child that is in every adult. I want to address the issue of insecurity. This feeling of not being good enough. To look like a clown in front of others. To be afraid to make mistakes. The fear of failing. The fear of not knowing something well enough. The fear of looking stupid. The fear of dancing. The fear of being yourself.

This inner fear started somewhere during our childhood and has remained with us into adulthood. This inner fear we call insecurity keeps us from accomplishing our goals. It keeps us from getting ahead in a struggling world. It pulls us down from becoming happy. It stops us in our tracks from trying new adventures or even reaching our goals or setting new goals. This inner fear cripples us to a point where we feel and think we are not good enough to accomplish things on our own or to learn new skills. It stops us from just trying something, anything new.

People who are insecure feel as though they must please others so they (the insecure) can get the approval from others to try something new without worry of ridicule.

This insecurity or inner fear prevents us from making new friends or getting into new relationships. It can also push us into bad relationships we will regret later. This insecurity (inner fear) can cause us to make bad business decisions that can affect our welfare for not just us but for our families as well.

A Child's Confession - Wisdom of a Guro

I have been teaching martial arts since the 1970s and it has been quite a journey for me.

Through the martial arts I have learn much about myself. Through the martial arts I have learned a lot about other people as well. What I call natural and the common sense of reading people; others might call it psychic abilities. I say this is just wisdom gathered over the years of trying to understand myself and my interaction of others who share this planet with me.

What I have come to take notice during my lifetime on this planet so far and up to this point in time I will share with you here and now openly.

I have been really listening to all my students for the past ten years now more clearly than I ever could have listened before. I'm not sure why this new ability has awakened in me, this ability to hear deeper and clearer, but it just did and I am thankful for it.

I have been listening to my kids in my Kids Martial Art classes talk. What I hear is sad. I hear them say to me all the time that they are not worthy. I hear them say to me that they are not good enough. Now I have not only noticed this in the Kids and Teenagers class but also in the Adults class. I have seen a common thread that links all of us together, children - teenagers - adults, a common thread of thought that has brought us to live our lives for the belief or care of what others might think or do think of us. We become crippled so badly that we waive our own rights of happiness in favor of what others may think of us.

When teaching all ages I have come to notice what people say to me. I have noticed how they use their hands while they are explaining themselves. I watch their body language and facial expressions while they talk and I listen to the level of vibrations in their voice. Also I hear the volume of when their voice rises or falls when using certain key words. These key words when coupled with their body language are what set off my mind to start me taking notice that there is a problem that needs my attention. This is what I call the Wisdom of the Guro.

Here is an example of what I mean.

One child confessed to me that he is not too bright and is in fact stupid. This hurt me deeply to

hear such a young child say such a thing about himself. I asked him where he heard such a thing.

He said my mother, my father, my brother, my sister, my cousins, my friends even his school teacher. He mentioned that the only place he did not hear this was in my school and in my presence. So everywhere else he travels he was made to believe he is stupid and not worthy of anything.

I was taken aback by this and went against the grain and told him he is a very bright individual.

Also I mentioned that he should not accept words like this because he will start believing in these words over a period of time and it will have ill effects on him when he grows up into an adult.

I have recently had a talk with his parents and they did not recognize or know that they were causing this kind of effect on their child. I told them that they needed to speak with the school teacher as well and other family members to figure out how and what they say to this child.

They are destroying this young mind before it even can get a chance to grow into something positive. I explained to the parents that what they have been doing they have actually learned from their parents and without knowing it, they are actually keeping the chain going strong with their family now.

I have heard adults tell me the reason they can't train with me now is because they don't have what it takes to be able to do what I am teaching them or sharing with them. They lack coordination to do the drills at hand.

My question to these adults is, "What else are you stopping yourself from experiencing in life because of the belief of lack of coordination, the lack of knowing how to do something or fear of what everyone will think? Is that really the reason to stop living and doing what makes you happy?"

Are you really afraid of what others may think of you if you make a mistake or look foolish in front of them?

This fear all starts in childhood. You wear something that your parents don't like and they tell you so and make you afraid by saying "Do you want your friends to think badly of you?"

I say tell your friends who think like this to go get lost and start living your own life and let out your spirit.

Start enjoying your life now. Stop caring what others may think of you and be happy.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes and try something new. After all, our reason for being here on this planet is to experience life. Why not go and get the best experience you can before it is too late and life comes to an end for you or passes you by.

Martial art is a great way to learn to express yourself and grow your confidence.

As long as your martial art teacher fosters this approach of allowing you to be yourself and unfortunately there are many out there who do not.

Start checking in with yourself and paying attention to yourself. Start questioning all of the reasons why you have not enjoyed yourself or taken on new adventures in life. Why are you afraid?

Question everything.

I can go deeper on this subject but your eyeballs will fall out with all the reading you would be doing J Come to class & I will be happy to talk with you and explain more.

Bring a troubled friend. Give them the gift of freedom of soul through martial training.

Hope to see you all in 2009 in the Dojo.

NOW --

Don't Worry - Be Happy! And Experience life!

Please write to me with any questions you may have.

Sensei Peter Freedman is the Founder of the Freedman Method Ketsugo Jujutsu System and Guro Director of the Boston Arnis Club. Sensei Freedman is also a trained reiki master and healer with over 43 years of martial arts experience, Sensei Freedman intends to teach, practice, and study Jujutsu for the rest of his life. http://www.FreedmansMethod.com