Life and the Little Things

If you have ever read a New Age book only to walk away thinking "what the hell were they talking about" then this is for you. If you have ever tried meditation only to be drowned in your own thoughts then this is for you. If you have ever watched Oprah and been left feeling that somewhere along the line you missed the New Age boat then this is for you. Why? Because this is a not another article trying to turn you into a mini me Wayne Dwyer or a clone of Eckhart Tolle, it respects the unique divine creation you are. Repeat after me "I am enough" or put another way "I am therefore I need be nothing more." I am not here to make you do anything or to make you feel guilty you are not something more because as far as I am concerned the moment you were born 'you were greatness'. Let's talk about an authentic life where there is acceptance of our humanity, where the fact you had a not so charitable thought because someone cut you off in traffic doesn't cancel your "I am good person" card. Let's have a conversation about what it is like to walk through this world with all of its challenges as a mere mortal rather then a superhuman. Like two old friends on the back porch on a Sunday afternoon, with no where to be and no where to go, we will talk about the life and the little things.

To touch the stars you must feel the ground beneath your feet

'Before enlightenment chop wood light fire after enlightenment chop wood light fire.'

You have to deal with realities, there is no bill fairy or clean my house fairy or make my family love me fairy. No such thing, no short cuts or magic wands or New Age pills I could make something up if you want and I am sure someone out there would buy it but reality is hard to hide from. The bottom line is you cannot do anything about something you refuse to acknowledge exists in the first place. Some people think they are very clever and make up an alternative reality, but like I say "you can bury your head in the sand but eventually someone will come and kick you in the butt."

This is the interesting part most of the time the things we fear are actually not that bad it is our own insecurity and inability to deal with them which creates within us a mindset of helplessness. We have the ability to walk through life's challenges it resides in all of us and can be accessed at anytime. So why does reality scare us so much we run from our truths?

Admitting you are human appears to be a difficult thing to do in a society filled with expectations, assumptions and judgment. Standing naked in your truth or your reality can be tough but rest assured the risk far outweighs the pressure of being someone you are not or living a lie for a lifetime. What are your realities what don't you want the world to know?

Dealing with reality

So you finally said out loud "I am in debt and don't know what to do about it" or "I don't know how to have healthy relationships" what next?

Give yourself a pat on the back, it takes courage to stand in truth and you deserve to be acknowledged for yours, "well done!" Try this; sit on a chair and have a friend stand in front of you doesn't that feel a little bit intimidating doesn't your friend look way bigger than normal? Then stand up and face them how much more empowered does this make you feel? Reality is no different when you are down and out everything looks bigger than it is and when you stand up and face it suddenly it is not nearly as overpowering.

What happens next is little mind monsters try and intimidate you into sitting down. You will know them when they come by the way they use their words;

"Don't rock the boat don't make waves if you look at your reality we have to look at ours and that just isn't going to happen!"

"Why are you trying to do this just give up its too hard?"

"You don't deserve anything better I never had a good life why should you!"

It is not uncommon at this stage to let doubt and fear in, sometimes shame also creeps in and guilt 'how stupid am I' or 'if I had done something sooner I would not be in this mess.' Hindsight is a wonderful thing to have and everyone one of us at some point in our lives wishes we could go back and make different choices but that is a pointless waste of energy. Rather than beating yourself up for not being perfect pat yourself on your back for being honest about your imperfections. You may have made some choices which didn't have the result you desired but maybe you didn't have the right tools or knowledge or maybe you were a little too arrogant, think of it this way a mistake is a lesson waiting to be learnt.

When a lightning strike starts a fire which burns out a forest we look at the blackness and think "oh my how could the anything recover from this there is nothing left?" But what we don't appreciate is the fire is nature's way of clearing away the rotting undergrowth and giving the seeds that lay dormant underneath the opportunity to grow. When you face your reality no matter how bleak it may look there is always a seed of hope underneath waiting to bring new life in. Sometimes you have to face the darkness of the night to appreciate the beauty of the light.

The 'P' word

Pride the most useless of all our emotions, it is the anchor which keeps you where you are and away from that which can get you where you want to be. So someone thinks you should be able to do everything your self and you should not ask for help because it is a sign of weakness, tell them to talk to the hand because the ears are not listening. Forget New Age theory think about it logically, out there somewhere are the resources you need to build the life you want and you would rather stand in your pride than go looking for them....why in Creators name would you do that for? By all means hold onto your pride wear like a badge keep it to show company but when no one else is around and your reality stares you in your face pride is going to be a very poor companion.

Change meets with resistance

'Every action causes and equal or greater reaction.'

No man is an island, I know this society has led us to believe we are not dependant on each other but again this is rubbish. Whatever you do or say will impact someone somewhere and in some way it is the six degrees of separation you are always hearing about go rent the movie. So here's the scoop when you start to look at your realities and acknowledge them chances are good someone somewhere who has a vested interest in keeping the reality just as it is, is going to try and push you back down in your seat. This happens a lot with families living with a pink elephant in the living room, which everyone sees but pretends not to see. No one wants to deal with reality when you start talking about the pink elephant you make people uncomfortable because now they have to deal with it too! And chances are they are not ready to do that.

Important point it is not about anybodies else's truth but your own, you have to honor another's truth's even if they are a denial of the reality. Their resistance should be considered a road block which can be navigated with the knowledge you are honoring your self and the life Creator gave you by dealing with the things which may be stopping you moving forward. It is one of those "I love you but...." moments. However if the situation is one involving others you might want to travel gently through the terrain rather than going full steam ahead like a steam train, a little give and take never hurt any conversation.

Excuse me but can you help me?

We can say those words at a hardware store or a grocery store, we quite happily admit I don't know how to build a birdhouse or what aisle the canned beans are on but heaven forbid if we should utter them when it really counts when life has overcome us and we don't know what to do next.

"Excuse me can you help me please?"

Use the resources available to you and if you do not know what or where they are then ask someone who does. And if anyone brings out the little mind monsters to make you feel less for wanting more then hold onto the fact they are trying to keep you from standing because they can only feel big by looking down at you. This is not about you not being enough but about you not having enough, knowledge, skills or resources. You are always enough in Creators eyes no matter what your life circumstances, he /she simply wants you to manifest your greatness. Some people at this point might go well then if Creator is such goodness he/she wouldn't let us struggle like this, which is a fair enough question and it can be answered in a few ways. Firstly if Creator didn't believe in our greatness we would not have been given free will and the ability to make our own choices. He is someone saying "I believe in you" and is still saying it. Secondly there are human Angels among us people who can help us if we would only ask. Remember a parable which went something like this;

A man was stranded on an island for many years, one day a fishing boat sailed past "Hop in" they said. "No came the reply I am waiting for God to save me". The next week an airplane flew past and yelled "we will land and take you home". "No thanks' the man replied "I am waiting for God to save me." The next week a helicopter went by and the same thing happened. Eventually the next week God looked down and said "why are you still here?" "Because I have been waiting for you to save me" the man replied. To which God said "I sent you an airplane, a boat and a helicopter what more could you have wanted?"

I am sure it lost something in translation but you get the message Creator has not deserted you the resources are there but sometimes we are so focused on that one window of opportunity we don't see all the possibilities. Or we are so caught up with the drama we miss the boat so to speak. Having been a single parent for 14 years I can relate to stubborn pride and feelings of inadequacy, plenty of times I turned my back on help being offered and even more times I struggled on just to prove I could. But if I had known then what I know now I would have been knocking on any door I could find to access the resources I needed. It is an enlightened soul who seeks what they need and a fool who doesn't realize our greatest weakness is often our strength.

Grant me serenity

'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.'

Some things are never going to turn out the way you want them too no matter what you give to them, there is no point denying this truth. Sometimes you have to accept people for where they are in their own growth and decide whether you honor them and you by allowing the situation to stand as it is. Always remember nothing is set in stone tomorrow is a new day and new beginnings can begin at anytime anywhere.

Here is another thing to keep in your pocket change does not have to involve monumental leaps of faith or drastic measures. Things do not have to be done yesterday and when one thing does not work there will always be another to try. Maybe you will have to take a few survival jobs along the way to your dream position and maybe those jobs will give you little lessons which will make sure when you do get the job you want you have all the knowledge you need to do it well. Stepping into the dream without building the foundation is like building a house with no nails eventually it will all come falling down. Maybe you do not need to confront your Mother with all of your grievances in a single day perhaps a little bit at a time will promote greater trust and communication. Understand some people are simply not aware of how their actions are hurting others until told we all have had moments where we have gone "I didn't know sorry."

More importantly this is a time to be gentle with yourself what this means is to talk to yourself as you would a friend going through a tough time. You would not criticize them for their mistakes you would encourage, support and urge them to keep going. When you stand in your truth and start to deal with life realities there are going to be moments of fear and doubt and you are going to need to be your own best friend. But remember once you accept where you are and who you are warts and all then from the ashes the seed of healing, hope and peace can begin to grow. There is never a better time to start than now

A ~ Accept who you are and where you are
C ~ Commit to change
T ~ take the first step

Life is going to challenge you throughout your lifetime this is the nature of being human, there are going to be ups and downs and things to overcome. As humans our greatest tool in building the life we want is our ability to learn and grow through our mistakes. All the great inventors reached their destination by trying and failing but all of them took what they learnt from each fall and used it to create a foundation of knowledge onto which they could build and this my friend is what you need to do.

Spiritual renovation what to do if your house is falling down

So you are trying to deal with life's realities and are seeking the help you need but you don't seem to be making any progress nothing appears to be changing. Well maybe you need a little spiritual renovation not the hallelujah type but an in house inspection to make sure your foundation doesn't have any cracks. When was the last time you had a spring clean of your belief system? If the answer is never this is the first place to start. Keep it simple write down all of your beliefs no matter how small or big then ask yourself two questions;

1. Does this belong to me or someone else?
2. Does this still serve my highest good or do I need to let it go?

Sometimes without realizing it we hold onto outdated beliefs given to us by our parents or things we learnt from our siblings or through our peers. At 10 maybe you were not good at math's this doesn't mean at 40 you cannot learnt to manage your finances. It is unlikely you have inherited your Uncle John's inability to do anything well more than likely you got handed down a family role which you were then expected to live up to. We grow and as we grow the usefulness of our beliefs needs to be re-examined, what served us at 20 probably will not be relevant to us at 40. Not only do we change but the world changes for example the good old days of the gold watch after 50 years of service are gone, these days after 2 years you are considered a long term employee. This does not mean throwing away all you hold dear, my belief in the greatness of the human soul will always remain with me. You have to a spring clean of your mind and soul every now and then because things change and you change and some beliefs are not going to work for you anymore.

This is also the time to update your spiritual toolbox, to seek new knowledge, new skills new ways at looking at things. Maybe in order to deal effectively with the realities of a dysfunctional family you need to find out what a healthy one is meant to look like. If you know speaking your truth will create drama then perhaps a basic conflict resolution course would be a good idea. If you lack the self confidence to look for another job work at bringing in new beliefs about what you are capable of, do a self esteem workshop. If the reality you face is so overwhelming you do not know where to start seek professional help from someone who does have the knowledge to help you build the skills you will need. I ask this question all the time the resources are out there why would you not access them if you are truly serious about creating an authentic abundant life?

Spiritually I think we all need to believe there is something or someone bigger out there. We all need to take the time to connect with our source no matter what or who we see this as being. It is difficult to hear anything in chaos or when we are anxious about life and it is almost impossible to hear our soul voice. Take a moment out from the chaos of the world to reconnect with the core truth the inner voice of soul. Take a breathe.. let it out and say out loud "in this moment everything is okay."

Another important thing to do is to bring in the lightness. When we get caught up in the seriousness of life we often lose the ability to laugh at the little things, to find joy in the small moments for some reason we do not feel we can have fun or be lighthearted. Often we feel guilty abandoning our troubles or believe serious events require serious adult behavior. Often it is a child oblivious social etiquette who brings the laughter and lightness to a situation providing a way to release anxiety and stress. Dealing with realities such a loss of any kind is a tough call and you need a way to release your feelings and what better way than to step into the lightness.

As the sun sets

Like two old friends on the back porch on a Sunday afternoon, with no where to be and no where to go, we have talked about the life and the little things. I hope this will be one of many moments we spend together, but as Richard Bach wrote;

'Never be dismayed at goodbyes because meeting again after moments or lifetimes is certain for those who are friends.'

Robin Newman Psychic/Medium
Creating futures changing lives
http://www.robinjpsychic.com or http://guidetolifeblog.com